I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Less talking, more tequila
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
