i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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