The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
