Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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