if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
