Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
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