remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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