We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
