Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
