I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
the liver wants what the liver wants
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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