I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
