You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is Oprah even human
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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