apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
