I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
