We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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