he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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