It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
