never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
