..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
