matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
