you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
