You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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