her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
