So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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