I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
