Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
