I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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