So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
