ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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