he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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