matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
