oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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