that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
