I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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