Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
