Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
