You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
