Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
