I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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