His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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