So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Don't make out with my wife yet
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
