You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
