i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this boner is exhausting
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
