why didn't you poke me back
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
