There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
