i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
