I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
