I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
