She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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