It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
